Brother, Let Me Be Your Shelter
by writeallnight
Summary: When Kensi is airlifted off the ship Deeks tries to stay strong. But Sam sees the cracks in his veneer and he's not about to let him go through it alone.


A/N: I'm emotionally compromised to a severe level right now. We are at like DEFCON 2 right here with this whole coma thing that is going on. I don't know how much more I can take. However, this means I'm writing like a madwoman to soothe my anguished soul. You're welcome :) It's also giving me an opportunity to write some different characters than usual. This is pretty much my first foray in Sam territory so hopefully I do all right!

This takes place immediately after Kensi is airlifted off the ship in "Belly of the Beast." Enjoy!

* * *

 _Brother let me be your shelter_

 _Never leave you all alone_

 _I can be the one you call_

 _When you're low_

 _Brother let me be your fortress_

 _When the night winds are driving on_

 _Be the one to light the way_

 _Bring you home_

 _-Needtobreathe_

"I'm going to talk to the CO, try to get us a ride out of here," Callen said. "You got this?" His eyes flicked to Deeks who was still staring blankly toward the doorway where Kensi had disappeared. Hopefully they were halfway to Germany by now, halfway to getting her whatever treatment she needed to get back on her feet.

Sam nodded. "We're good." He turned to the younger man as Callen moved out of earshot. "Come on Deeks. Let's have somebody take a look at that head."

He received no response. "Deeks," Sam clapped a hand on his shoulder causing him to jump. "You with me?"

"Yeah, uh, yeah," his eyes drifted back to the doorway. "I'm good, I should uh, I should go with Callen and try to help—"

"You know what? Callen's got this," Sam said, his eyes narrowing as he took in the paleness of Deeks' face, the wildness in his eyes. "Why don't we go get you checked out?"

"I'm fine, Sam, I'm good." Deeks shrugged him off.

"You're not fine," Sam said firmly. "You're hurt. The best thing you can do for Kensi right now is take care of yourself, all right? Callen will have us on the first flight out of here, I promise."

Deeks continued to hesitate but Sam wouldn't yield. Deeks needed somebody to think clearly for him right now and Sam was going to be that person. "You need to see a doctor. Don't make me drag your ass down there."

He followed reluctantly as Sam led the way into the sickbay and pushed him in the direction of a bed.

"You guys need some help?" A doctor approached, her eyes taking in the dirt and blood matted into Deeks' hair.

"He hit his head pretty hard in the crash," Sam told her. "He was disoriented, had trouble focusing. You have a minute to take a look?"

"Sure, no problem." The doctor probed gently at Deeks' skull noting when he winced. "Little tender there. Did you lose consciousness?"

"Uh, yeah. For a little bit." Deeks' voice was quiet and he seemed to be having a hard time concentrating on her questions.

"Follow my finger," she held it up in front of his eyes. "Yeah, looks like you've got a pretty good concussion going on there. Let me see your arm."

She pulled up his sleeve to reveal a deep gash that Sam hadn't even noticed in their scramble to get Kensi to safety. "That's going to need some stitches." She drenched a square of gauze in antiseptic and handed it to Deeks. "Put this on your lip. I'll be right back."

Sam watched Deeks stare at the white square of cotton, unmoving. "You all right, Deeks?"

"Yeah. I'm fine."

Sam could see a muscle working in his jaw, felt the tension radiating off of him. "You want to talk about it?"

He shook his head, shrugged. "What is there to talk about? It is what it is, right? Nothing I can do from here."

"Come on, Deeks," he sat down next to the younger man who refused to meet his gaze.

Sam watched him struggle. He was trying so hard to keep the horror of the day from spilling out, trying to stay strong. Sam knew a thing or two about the cost of keeping everything bottled up inside and he wasn't about to let Deeks walk down that path. "Talk to me, brother."

When Deeks finally spoke his voice was choked and thick. "She might never wake up. And even if she does…her leg…if she can't…" He lowered his head, swallowed hard.

Sam looked up to find the doctor coming back, watched her hesitate when she saw them. "Give us a minute," he requested.

She nodded and disappeared.

"I bought her a ring."

The words fell from his lips but they weren't a surprise. Sam had suspected as much when Deeks shouted the word _fiancé_ down the hallway.

"I didn't even get to ask her. They just took her and I didn't get to say goodbye," Deeks told him hoarsely. "Sam, if she…I don't…" he couldn't finish.

Sam tried find words that would soothe his teammate's shattered spirit. His fears weren't unfounded. An open fracture like that, even if they managed to stave off infection, there was a good chance Kensi's leg would never be the same. And they still had no idea about her condition neurologically. It was no wonder he was spiraling.

Sam took a breath. "I never expected to fall in love with Michelle. I didn't even know it was possible to feel that way about somebody. She is the closest I've ever come to breaking the rules, and I've never regretted it. I know that I haven't always been the biggest fan of what you and Kensi are doing. But," he looked at his friend, "I understand. And if I'm hard on the two of you it's only because I know how difficult this path is. Falling in love with someone you work with…it's about the hardest thing you'll ever do. And times like this only make it harder."

He put a hand on the younger man's shoulder. "You did everything you could back there for her. You kept her strong. And when we get home you're going to help her fight to get it all back. She knows, how you feel Deeks," Sam tried to infuse this statement with as much conviction as he could muster. "I've seen it in the way she looks at you. This is not the end of the road. You'll get your chance."

Deeks blew out a shaky breath. "Sam, I don't think I can do this without her."

The admission was his undoing. He crumbled and Sam pulled him immediately into an embrace, holding tight to his shuddering frame. "That's it. Let it go. Just let it go. I got you. I'm here for you."

The release was what Deeks needed. Sam couldn't have been more proud of the way he'd handled himself all day. But now he needed a safe place to fall and Sam owed it to him to provide it.

"You're not in this alone, okay?" Sam said quietly. "We're going to get you home to her. And then we're going to get her well. Together. All right?"

Deeks pulled away, nodding. "Thank you," he said hoarsely. "For helping me get her out of there today. For staying. I'm just…I'm really-"

"I know," Sam said quietly.

The doctor chose that moment to return. "Is this an okay time?" she asked.

"Yeah," Sam rose. "Take good care of him okay? We've got to get him home. His partner," Sam's eyes met Deeks', "his fiancée is going to need him."

* * *

A/N: Leave your love in the reviews!


End file.
